Sink into it

More often than I'd like to admit, I find myself flopping in the chair in front of my computer immediately after work. I read through the day's tweets and open a million tabs. I e-mail myself links to read later and check "keep unread" on most posts that I scroll through. Often when I make dinner, I'm rushing the process and then eating in front of the computer or TV. My night or weekend ends and I wonder where the time went. Instead of enjoying those little day-to-day activities that make up my life, I sometimes find that I'm tuned out. Too often, I'm floating somewhere between what I just did and the next thing I need to do.

Instead of floating through my free time, I want to allow myself to sink into whatever it is that I'm doing. I want to grab hold of my time and be present in it. If I simply give myself permission to enjoy reading on the internet, I may set that time aside, relax into the chair in front of my computer with  a warm drink, and get more out of that time. While I'm cooking, if I give myself permission to take my time, I may enjoy the scent of the ingredients, the process of learning, the combining, sauteing, and creating. If I sink into whatever activity I have in front of me, I could take the time to engage, instead of being a passive consumer. 

Sinking in is taking charge of your free time, engaging with what's in front of you, and giving yourself permission to enjoy it.

These everyday activities won't necessarily look different on the outside. I still may find myself in front of the computer immediately after work and my meal-making may not change in appearance, but they will hopefully feel different.

What are you sinking into this week?

There's no such thing as a bad day

Picture taken by me of a card by Papyrus

I could barely get out of bed this morning. I think I hit snooze about 17 times. I pulled myself out from under my covers and into a shower where the water was either freezing cold or scalding hot. The stockings I bought made my skin look orange and I got into an argument with my boyfriend all before 7AM.

As I walked to the bus stop thinking about what a terrible day I was about to have, I was hit by a powerful thought: there is no such thing as a bad day. I wish I could say that this idea was my own. Instead, I’ll confess that it’s the mindset of a 16-year-old ballerino. I watched the documentary First Position a few months ago (as part of a “documentary club” I have with my friend Caitlin) and this dancer’s girlfriend confessed that he always tells her that he doesn't believe in “bad days”. How can a whole day be bad?

Before we all discount this as immaturity or inexperience, remember that this boy is a ballerina; he’s a ballerina who moved away from his family in South America to dance in NY. With a ballerina’s life comes injuries, blisters, and a whole lot of people telling you you’re not good enough. Oh, and he’s doing this all to make a living so he can help support his family. So, we’ll cross out immaturity and inexperience for now. I’m sure he has plenty of days that the rest of us would label as “bad days”. He just doesn't label them that way.

I want to make it clear that I’m not talking about those days when devastating tragedies affect our lives. Those days are in a separate category. I’m talking about those days we all have, some more frequently than others. Those days when nothing seems to go right and our day follows suit. At the core of those bad days is a person declaring the day as bad. We allow any mishap that could be shrugged off to gain power as it is added to a growing list of all the things that have gone wrong. We gather up those annoyances and frustrations, throw them on our back, and allow ourselves to sink under the stress and wallow in our perception of our “bad day”.

I say bad days stop here. Let’s see negative parts of our days as just that – unfortunate minutia that exist separate from the tone of our whole day. When you hear your self-talk uttering a list of reasons why today is bad, acknowledge it and then move on. Realize that that list exists but that it shouldn't have the power to discount your whole day. Instead, start thinking about why the things on that list aren't so bad and replace that list with one full of gratitude.

Today, as I was thinking of all the ways in which my day was going to continue to be bad, I stopped my thoughts in their tracks. It wasn't easy. But, I started to list all of the things that were great about my day:

-    It was Wednesday! It’s a quick sprint to the weekend from here.

- The skyline on the way to work was especially beautiful today.

- I was going to have a few uninterrupted hours to catch up on things at work during the afternoon.

And so on and so on. Let’s make a concerted effort to end bad days. We only get 365 precious days each year; let’s not waste any.